When "Upselling" Feels Like Being Mugged

I had a moment at the bar this weekend that's been rattling around my head ever since.

I ordered a gin and tonic. Simple enough.

The bartender, without missing a beat, fired back at me… "Single or double?"

It felt hollow. Transactional. Like he was trying to extract as much money from me as possible before I'd even sat down.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Plenty of managers out there would be thrilled their staff are offering doubles. It's exactly what they've been told to do. Tick that box, increase average spend, job done.

But that's not upselling. That's just... extraction.

Real upselling is about product knowledge. It's about guiding your guest on a journey, building trust, and helping them have a genuinely better experience.

Imagine if he'd said this instead:

"We've just stocked elderflower tonic; it's brilliant with Hendrick's. We serve it with fresh cucumber, the way Hendrick's is famous for, light and floral. I can add some fresh lime too if you fancy?"

Can you feel the difference?

That bartender has just painted a picture. He's given me something to say yes to, not something to defend against. He's made me curious, not cautious.

The problem isn't the ask; it's the approach

Here's what I suspect was really happening: that bartender didn't know his products well enough to sell them properly. He'd been told to upsell, so he defaulted to the easiest, bluntest tool available... price.

You see, golf club members aren't tourists. They're not one-and-done customers you'll never see again.

Your members visit 30, 40, maybe 50 times a year. They know your team. They remember interactions. And trust, once broken or even allowed to quietly erode, is incredibly difficult to repair.

Let's say I'd pushed back and asked: "What's the benefit of a double?"

An experienced bartender might have said:

"A great gin and tonic ratio is about three parts tonic to one part gin. A double measure hits that ratio a bit better, gives you a better balanced drink; and should last you longer too."

That's education. That's hospitality. That feels like someone who gives a damn about what I'm drinking, not just how much I'm spending.

But in this case? I got neither.

Here's the thing about hospitality professionals

We're the best guests to serve, and the worst guests to disappoint.

We all know what it's like to be on the other side of the bar. We notice everything; the eye contact (or lack of it), the tone, the care. And it's very rare you'll find a hospitality professional who's a dick to another hospitality professional.

We want you to succeed. We want to be looked after. We want to trust you.

But we also know when we're being sold to instead of being sold out.

So what does this mean for your operation?

If your team's idea of upselling is "single or double?" then you've got a training gap, not a sales problem.

Upselling isn't a script. It's not a checkbox. It's product knowledge, confidence, and genuine care wrapped up in a recommendation.

It's knowing the difference between your gins. It's understanding why one tonic works better with another spirit. It's being able to talk about your wines, your beers, your menu specials with the kind of enthusiasm that makes people lean in and say, "Go on then, I'll try it."

And here's the kicker: when you get this right, when your team builds that trust through great service and thoughtful recommendations, the next time they suggest a new wine, a new gin, or even a new event... that member will buy it.

Not because they were pressured. Because they trust you.

The trust equation in golf clubs

You've got the same people walking through your doors week after week, year after year. That's your competitive advantage and your greatest vulnerability.

Break that trust with lazy, transactional service, and you won't just lose one sale. You'll lose dozens.

But lead with genuine hospitality, with curiosity about what your members actually enjoy, with recommendations that come from a place of knowledge and care... and you won't need to ask "single or double?"

They'll ask you what they should try next.

What does upselling look like in your operation right now?

Is your team confident enough in their product knowledge to make real recommendations, or are they defaulting to the path of least resistance?

If you're not sure where your team stands, or if you suspect there's a gap between what they could be doing and what they are doing, I'd encourage you to take our Success Scorecard, the link is at the bottom of this page.

It's a quick diagnostic that'll show you exactly where your F&B operation is strong, and where it's quietly leaking trust (and revenue).

Let's make sure your team isn't just asking "single or double?"

Let's make sure they're creating experiences worth coming back for.

Tony
Hospitality In Golf

Quick one — if you’ve not done this yet, my scorecard helps you spot gaps across guest experience, costs, and day-to-day ops. Takes a few minutes and you’ll get a proper report at the end.